Taking Responsibility in a World of Blame

Let Go of Victim Mentality

It’s such an easy thing to do…pin the blame on your spouse, your boss, the government, anyone or anything outside of yourself.  It makes you feel better (or so you think) to wear the label of victim and allow someone else to shoulder responsibility.  The trouble is the other person has no intention of accepting that burden and any temporary feeling of relief won’t last long before you’re back in the role of victim again.

“Hold on,” you say.  “That person really did cause the problem.  They fired me, cheated on me or forgot to pay the rent.”  Any one of those things may be true but there is a critical difference in the outcome when you choose to stay in victim mentality rather than propelling yourself forward by taking personal responsibility. When you choose to think like a victim, life continues to hand you challenges, grievances and unfair circumstances. They constantly build upon one another until you’re so deeply mired that you can’t see your way out.  So what do you do? Take responsibility for every single circumstance in your life. Before you react, take a minute to let that message sink in.  Taking responsibility does not equal taking blame. What it does mean is that you are unwilling to let your current circumstances dictate your future.


Taking responsibility does not equal taking blame. What it means is that you are unwilling to let current circumstances dictate your future.



Here are three tips to help you shift from victim to victorious:

  1. Write it down:  When you feel yourself placing blame for your circumstances, grab a journal write down all the reasons you can find to blame someone or something for your challenge.  Then, examine each item as if you were acting from the perspective of full responsibility. How could you reframe each statement to accept responsibility without blame?  For example, a victim perspective might be, “It’s my boss’s fault for getting me fired.”   Once shifted, your perspective might be, “I know I haven’t been fulfilled by my work lately. It’s time to find something more rewarding.”
  2. Give yourself a break: Once you’ve shifted your perspective, do something that physically breaks you away from the situation. Go for a walk, work out at the gym or read some chapters in an inspiring book. You’ll gain even broader perspective and begin to see solutions rather than challenges.
  3. Meditate on the Solution: Find a secluded space and quiet your mind. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths. As you breathe out, release any tension in your body and release your connection to any blame. Let go of your preconceived notions about how things should work out. Focus on how you want to feel once you’ve dealt with your challenge and reached your desired outcome.  Remember, everything is energy. Concentrate on the feeling and continue to breathe…in and out. Allow your mind to rest for several minutes.  Even five to ten minutes of meditation helps dramatically. At the end of your meditation, drink plenty of water and continue about your day. Now that your mind is clear, you’ll be open to seeing opportunities that were invisible to you before.

Whenever you feel yourself slipping into the role of victim again, repeat one or all of these exercises to reclaim your power.  Over time, you’ll become much more adept at shifting into the awesome, powerful being that you are.



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